THE BIG COVER-UP

The Election Commission’s recent diktat to cover up the statues of all elephants in Uttar Pradesh is one big cover-up.   But there are a few niggling doubts that remain.   For instance, the statues of elephants can be covered up, but what if a real elephant is walking down the road.  Will that too be covered?

What about the party with the ‘Hand’ symbol?  Will the candidates of this party be allowed to gesticulate with their hands while speaking at public rallies?  Or do they speak with their hands tied to the back, or a la ‘Thakur’ of the movie – Sholay? If they show their hand to the public, will it amount to a violation of the model code of conduct?

Then there are so many regional parties that have been allotted symbols.  A few samples (or is it symbols???) deserve a look-in. 

One party has a ‘Cup and Saucer’ as its symbol.  This means that till the seven-phase elections get over, people are not allowed to drink tea in a cup – they may drink tea in glasses, or plastic cups, but definitely not in a cup and saucer.   That would amount to a storm in a teacup!!!

Another party has an ‘Electric Pole’ as its symbol.  Will the ECI be also covering up all the ‘Electric Poles’ in the state of Uttar Pradesh?  Yet another party’s symbol is the ‘Kite’.  Will then kite-flying of any kind, political, or otherwise, be banned till the elections?

 ‘Coconut’ too is an election symbol in U.P.  Will the breaking of a coconut at religious ceremonies amount to a violation of the mode code?  Similarly, ‘Water Tap’ is also a symbol.  Will all the water taps at public places and in houses be also covered with different colours of polythenes or plastic bags?  

‘Telephone’, ‘Ceiling Fan’, ‘Glass Tumbler’, ‘Pressure Cooker’, ‘Television’, ‘Stethoscope’, ‘Kettle’, ‘Walking Stick’, ‘Hockey Stick’ and ‘Gas Cylinder’ are all election symbols in Uttar Pradesh.  If the model code of conduct is strictly implemented, all these symbols too must be covered up.  But then, that would bring life to a standstill.  If a television is covered up, what do people see?  Or if a ‘Stethoscope’ is covered up, how does a doctor work?

One can go on and on and also take up election symbols in other states, but by then the elections would be over and the M.C.C (Model Code of Conduct) would become infructuous.   

Last heard, a scared Lord Vishnu, was seeking legal opinion on whether he too needs to cover up his ‘navel’ – out of which the ‘Lotus’ grows, lest he be accused of taking sides with the ‘Lotus’ party!!!  Is the ECI listening???

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