Corruption

COMPUTERISED CORRUPTION

‘It’s on, it’s on…what’s on”?  The answer to this question in an advertisement for a brand of television was a punch in the face of the questioner.  However, in the present day context in India, the answer to what’s on is – ‘it’s corrupti-on’!!!  A punch in the face of India?  No, not at all.  On the contrary, a news item in the papers said the other day that India was one of the most corrupt nations in the world.  It warmed the cockles of my heart immensely, as I punched my fist in the air, as if I had won a gold at the Olympics!

After all, Indians too have proved that the much-vaunted ‘killer instinct’ is not missing in us.  On the contrary, it is ‘alive’ and ‘kicking’.  The West, in turn, must be kicking itself for letting India steal the show from right under its nose, as far as corruption is concerned.  It is in fact, this very ‘Indianisation’ of corruption that might be unnerving for the West.

Talking of corruption, with the list of scams assuming monstrous proportions, India was basking in its newly found glory.  What people however, conveniently forget is the fact that we Indians are a genuine and an honest lot.  After all, aren’t we religiously honest in being corrupt?  It is corruption -  with honesty.  Well, as people say even thieves have a code of conduct.  It is high time that India too drew up a ‘model code of corrupt conduct’ before anyone else in the world steals a march over us.

Of course, in keeping with the latest trend, it does appear that corruption too has gone hi-tech and its computerisation has commenced.  The other day a mention of the Vohra committee report in an article had very interesting consequences on the computer.  While taking a print out of the document, the computer screen made very interesting reading.  The screen said – “the file may be corrupted’!  I could not help, but marvel at the sensitivity of the computer and its subtle indication of the fact that the mention of the Vohra committee report could have a ‘corrupting influence’ on the file.  The article after all, did have an ‘element of corruption’ in it.

In the age of ‘Microsoft’  and ‘windows’, the day is certainly not far off, when a computer programme on corruption would be devised and on which no virus, including ‘Michelangelo’ dare enter.  Needless to say, corruption could then also be ‘saved’ on the computer.  Like the options provided by the computer during a spell check being run, the computer would also provide options on the various types of corruption!

If such a computerisation heralded by India does come about in the near future, one could very proudly proclaim to the world – ‘Oh darling, yeh hai India’, as also send out a loud and clear message to foreign investors – “Yehi hai right choice baby”!