Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance, they say, is bliss.  But complete ignorance is complete bliss.  What’s more it’s universal in nature.  Some real-life experiences of teachers and some reports appearing in the Print Media form a veritable “Do you know” series, or “Ripley’s Believe it or not” facts.  Citing a few examples of the common and not-so-uncommon people in India and in the West is a must.  Examples from the West need to be cited in particular, for we are convinced of anything only if we have a parallel in the West – even if it is ignorance.  But let’s begin with some ‘desi’ instances.

As Election Commission is always in news, for these days some elections or the other are held every other month, why ignore the ubiquitous ‘EC?’  It should warm the cockles of the hearts of our Chief Election Commissioners (CECs) to learn what Class XII students of Political Science thought of them some years ago.  According to some ‘bright young minds’, Election Commission were those people who move around with loudspeakers, making announcements in auto rickshaws, jeeps and vans during electioneering!

Our learned teachers might not know that according to some aspiring teachers, the Godavari flows through Krishna delta, while Pennar is actually situated in Kerala.  After all, these entire years one has been learning in geography that the face of our earth is constantly changing.  Who knows these candidates might be having the latest update on the geographical situation!!  Knowledge should after all be constantly updated.

One particularly bright student took the question a bit too literally. Quizzed in Hindi medium on what they understood by ‘Bahu-uddeshiya yojnaayen’ (multi-purpose projects), the measured response of this student was that in our country, ‘Bahus’ (brides) are supposed to cover their heads and are made to go through a lot of formalities after marriage, so the programmes that are aimed at these ‘bahus’ are known as……no prizes for guessing here!!!!

Did you know that ignorance need not be merely ‘Art-istic’, it can be scientific as well.  Some science students did not know the composition of blood or what haemoglobin was.  One can safely say that these science students were “BLOODY” ignorant!!!   The concept of dialysis, or the utility of vitamins was Greek and Latin to them.  After all, strictly speaking, all these issues are really non(science)sense!!!  One student defined electrons as, ‘beautiful things that roam around on sea-beaches.’   Quite an ‘electron’-ic ignorance that!!!  

One candidate appearing for an examination to become a sub-inspector in police organisations thought that Bjorn Borg was the name of a beautiful place in Europe.  Of course, even if he had said that Borg was a Swiss tennis player would not have made him the head of Swiss police – or for that matter, Indian police too.  Nor would a Swiss account have been opened in his or her name.  So why bother?

Of course, all things apart, ‘Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani’, so we will not consider anything to be complete, till there is a ‘videshi’ or ‘phoren’ parallel to anything.  So here goes.

In the United States of A, a presidential candidate once could not name the political leaders of India and Pakistan.  Another President once said, “I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them!” Why not?  If you agree with your own opinions, how can one beat around the bush.’  Another well-known figure in American politics was the perfect ‘Ignoramus’ when he spelt potato as ‘potatoe’ – so what if he added a ‘toe’ to the poor vegetable!  He was only trying to be phonetic.  Or may be plainly – ‘phoney’ – one never knows with these politicians.  Another President quipped at the funeral of Charles de Gaulle – “today is a great day for France.”  

Coming back to some ‘desi’ instances, one minister from one of the hill states, was blissfully unaware of what ‘PUC’ (Proposal Under Consideration) stood for.  The Minister in question ordered the PS to get the “Pook.”  The hapless PS having racked his brains and tired of searching for the elusive ‘Pook’ all over the place, finally realised what PUC actually stood for.

Last but not the least, on a TV show anchored by a famous media celebrity, one Parliamentary Affairs minister (name withheld owing to model code of conduct of the Election Commission) quipped in an answer to a question that a particular Parliamentary procedure – ‘Quorum’ was necessary, which was 8 or 10 per cent.  The anchor, seizing the chance to corner the Minister quipped, “Sir, that means even you don’t know whether the quorum is 8 per cent or 10 per cent!!’  

After all these examples, one hopes that the ignorant ones among our readers would no longer be ignorant of the fact that ‘ignorance’ is common knowledge the world over.”