Watering Down

Our PM (Print Media, lest anybody misunderstands it) has a penchant for grinding everything to dust and later on, ‘watering down’ that issue.

The days of follow-up stories are not followed up, now it’s a matter of ensuring the sales of a newspaper everyday and jumping on to the next scoop the following day.

So, after many issues, water it was.  The allusion here is not to the reel life – Deepa Mehta’ controversial film – ‘Water’, but real life stuff.  After the tinsel world’s ‘Water’ inflamed the fires of passion at Varanasi, it was the scarcity of water in the drought affected parts of the country that hogged the PM’s attention.

After carrying all the gory details as vividly as possible, some newspapers realised that it was also their duty to suggest some solutions.  So, water harvesting became the theme song for the next few days.  It is really surprising that water harvesting should be talked about only when there is drought and not in the so-called normal times.  But even if there is no problem, what do you solve?

A few days ago, the newspapers reported that some enterprising businessman had come out with a novel, mouth-watering idea – “buy a washing machine and get a one tanker of water free!!”  Not a bad idea.  After all, in these days of water crises, who would want to buy a washing machine?  So, this particular businessman has been blessed with the wisdom to provide a water tanker free with the washing machine.  You can take the water from the tanker and use it for washing purposes.

Of course, the tanker will come in handy to store water too, once it is empty.  After all, doesn’t say that you should save something for the rainy day?  In this case, one could even save the water on a rainy day for the tanker!!!

The offer reminds one of the story of the wise crow one read during childhood days, when the crow drops stones into one jar to raise the level of water to quench his thirst.  Such offers could go a long way in solving the water crisis.

One could even imagine the nature of future advertising and the offers likely to pour in.  Buy a fridge and get two buckets of ice free!!  And why confine ourselves to merely water?  As a politician is once supposed to have said, “if there is a problem of ‘roti’ (food) in the country, one should eat ‘double roti’ (bread). 

So, extending the same logic to the water problem, another offer could be “Buy two mineral water bottles, and get a large can of Coke free.”  Or else, the lottery tickets could also read:

First prize: free ownership rights of an agency of water tanks.” 

Second prize: a free day seven-day stay in the Indian Ocean (minus accommodation).

This means that like the proverbial ‘you can have your cake and eat it too,’ you can live in the water and drink it too – the high salinity content notwithstanding.  (Moroever, this stay will be worth the salt – if not anything else!)

Third prize: a two-room flat on the banks of any river or lake of your choice!  Consolation prizes could include free baths for one month and permanent membership of ‘Water Kingdoms.’ 

Last but not the least, coming back to the reel life – ‘Water,’ one does not know exactly how much Deepa Mehta has done to solve the real life – ‘Water crisis’ in her film, but at least she could be honoured with an award for ‘acqua-inting’ the people with the severity of the issue.  Or, is it for watering down the issue?

As for our politicians, it is another golden opportunity for them to lure the ‘voter’ on account of ‘water’ and test the political waters before taking the plunge into the whirlpool of elections.