Gods Must Be Crazy

India has always been known as the land of gods.  In ancient times, parts of it were also referred to as “Devabhumi”.  Indians have always been religious in their outlook and essentially god-fearing by nature.  This fact was amply demonstrated years ago by the news that spread even faster than wild fire, that gods all over India, as also across the globe – were devouring milk – spoonfuls of it.  The first thought that raced across my mind then was – we all have become so used to spoon feeding, that we don’t even spare the divines!

What was most surprising was the fact that gods, particularly all over India were drinking milk of all brands.  The very thought immediately alarmed me, for it meant that something nasty had happened to ‘Kamadhenu’ (the divine cow), or else why should they risk drinking milk in the land of mortals.  I was always cocksure that gods would reject DMS milk and prefer full cream milk to the toned and double-toned variety.

A couple of friends narrated to me that the statute of gods did not really drink the milk offered by them.  It only strengthened my conviction that the gods would not have liked the smell of DMS milk, for my friends had offered the DMS brand.  Mother Dairy milk too would not have tasted all that good.  The gods surely would have heard that “eating (or drinking) is human, digesting divine”.  Our poor gods could not even drink the milk that mortals gobble up like ambrosia.

It is really surprising that the gods should have chosen this time to drink milk, when a godman by the name of ‘Moon Lord’ was neck deep in trouble.  It could also be possible that the gods decided to drink milk, as a few women at that time had volunteered to become ‘devadasis’ in a temple in Orissa.  Up there in the heavens, when the ‘apsarars’ dance and dedicate themselves to the god, the latter are believed to drink ‘somras’.  After all, gods are used to the luxuries of heaven and known to have a penchant for miracles.  They must know too well that procuring pure milk on the land of mortals is nothing short of a luxury and a miracle.  Who knows the next time around, instead of the holy Ganges, some “Akashganga” of milk could come pouring down on this land from the locks of Lord Shiva.

If you talk of Shiva, can Ganesha be far behind?  Ganesha too had to come down on the land of mortals to drink milk.  But that again could have been a dangerous proposition because as we all know from mythology that the vehicle of Ganesha is a mouse.  If all the mouses of India were to come out to have a glimpse of their divine ‘Lord’, another ‘Surat’ could be repeated and plague could once again break out in the stampede that could ensue among the mouse, rats and the likes of their species.

What about a totally different brand of mouse?  The one you find with the computer.  Since then, I for one, religiously sit on the computer with a spoonful of milk and offer it to the mouse of the virtual variety, for if it were to get cross, I would not be able to work on the computer.

 One wag rightly pointed out – what if we offer ‘paneer’ to the lords?  After all, it is also a by-product of milk.  Would the gods reject it too?  That again would depend on the quality of milk. The more I thought about it, the more I got convinced about the loss of “Kamadhenu” to the gods.  Instead, now the gods too are on the lookout for a novel scheme like DMS, though the quality of milk would be (hopefully) a much improved one in heaven.  That  is why another wag has right termed the heavenly milk scheme as DMS, an acronym for “Divine Milk Syndrome”. 

That the gods should come down to the earth to imitate a scheme for the heavens from the real life, is an ample demonstration of that famous reel life English comedy – “GODS MUST BE CRAZY”!!!